Everyone has heard and said the phrase "Life's not fair!" I recently heard this phrase from one of my little guys. My knee jerk reaction was to say "your right", life isn't fair and we all have to deal with that. After our brief discussion about life was over I spent some time reflecting on it. We always try to steer our children in the right direction with the right advice so I often like to think about our family discussions. This allows me to not only ensure I'm confident on the answers I give but also helps me get prepared for next time. On this occasion I decided that I made a mistake!
In reality LIFE IS FAIR! We just like to throw out the life is not fair comment when we don't get want we want. We use this thought process as an excuse to not work as hard as we should for what we want. If we actually accepted the idea that LIFE IS FAIR then we would all have to come to terms with ourselves and our levels of commitment and effort. Since we really don't want to do that we hide behind the fairness idea.
Saying life is not fair is the same as waving the white flag. It means I give up!
Don't get me wrong, we do all start life in different places. Some are going to be in a better financial situation than others. Some will be more physically gifted. Some will be more creatively gifted, and some may be more intellectually gifted in certain areas. This is a fact! Another fact is that we are all talented and gifted in our own ways. Tom Brady probably can't code for MIcrosoft and Bill Gates probably can't throw a 50 yard Touchdown. Yet both of these men have succeeded in their lives and are viewed as the top performers in their industries! HOW?
They figured out what they liked and what they were good at. Then they worked insanely hard with extreme effort, The result was incredible accomplishments and success! They are successful because they chose to commit and push themselves. Hard work and extreme effort are abilities everyone!
We are all good at something. It could be football, writing, photography, or computer science. Whatever it may be, you do have talents that can be cultivated. When you cultivate and nurture your talent you will find success. This is true and fair!
But wait!! If life were really fair than everyone would be a great success in one venue or another right?
Here's what separates those that say "LIFE'S NOT FAIR" from those who don't......
EFFORT is the key. As we just stating, everyone has a talent or talents that can be grown. This growth only comes through effort and determination. We are all born with the same ability to try, to put in effort, to succeed. This is why LIFE IS FAIR! We can all put in as much or as little effort as the next person. No one has the ability to try harder than someone else. We all have the same effort capabilities with in us.
In this sense, life is extremely fair!
Once we accept this fact we can clearly see that when we say life isn't fair we actually mean, I haven't put enough effort into getting what I want in life!
That's it! Life is fair! We can all push ourselves to the limit and nurture our talents so we become wildly successful in our lives! If the ability is the same within all of us then why aren't we all successful????
The simple answer is that a lot of us don't want to work that hard even though we can. That's the hard truth.
When's the last time you pushed yourself so hard physically that you thought you were going to throw up?
When's the last time you got home from work, fed the kids, put them to bed, and then stayed up working on your side business till your eyes burned?
I guarantee that there are people out there doing these things right now! These people have no time for life's not fair, in fact the thought never crosses their mind!
Now's the time! Decide today which group you want to be in!
Are you going to accept that life is fair? Or are you going to hide behind the life's not fair mentality?
I know which side I'm on!!! Leave us a comment, let us know what you think and share with someone you know who may need to hear this message.
Thanks for reading!
I hear it all the time. "I don't have time for myself". "As long the kids have what they need I'm good". "My needs are not important"...
These sound familiar? I think they do for most of us. We tend to put ourselves last in order to make sure everyone else is taken care of. We think that taking time for ourselves to make sure we have what we need is selfish! My kids are more important we say, my husband/wife needs me to do this first we say...
I say this needs to stop! Self-care needs to be at the top of your priority list. While taking time out of the day to work on yourself may initially seem selfish, in the long run it's actually self-less! Don't believe it? Check out these examples as they will prove my point:
A large part of the HappyHealthyHundreds philosophy has to do with self growth and learning. Continued learning is a cornerstone of building a happy, fulfilling life. In order to do this you must take the time for yourself to learn and grow. Yes, this means time solely dedicated to you!
Now Before you dismiss this idea let's think it through. In the short term taking this time away from the family may seem Selfish. This however is completely inaccurate. It's actually Self-less! Let's say you use this time to get your MBA! In the future this MBA will open more doors for you and increase your value to potential employers thus increasing your salary! I'm sure the family would appreciate your efforts when you all get to spend an extra week at Disney or pay for the kids college without student loans! By initially taking the time to learn you now are able to provide great things for you and your family! There's nothing selfish about that!
Still not sure? Let's look at another example:
There's no way I can hit the gym or go for a run for 30 mins a day! I got work, Johnny's got soccer practice and Jane has a bake sale in the morning! Phrases similar to this are spoken daily in millions of households across the world.
While this may seem extreme to those who haven't had children, I can assure you this is just another day when you have Littles running around. There's always a reason to put off taking care of yourself. But there is never a good enough reason!
Again, while taking time for yourself to ensure you are healthy may seem low on the priority list, you aren't doing anyone any favors by not doing it. We all know the benefits of health and fitness, too many to list, but for this example we only need two.
When you exercise and are in good health you feel good, your mood is up , and your energy level is high. The high energy and mood levels carry over to everyday life. You will be better able to see the positives in situations and better energized to take on what ever the day may hold. You will are able to chase the kids around for hours, go from work to the little league game at the end of the day and still have the energy root the kids on! You taking the time to be healthy will allow you to be the best version of yourself, which in turn allows you to give your best in life.
Those around you deserve to get the best version of you. You owe it to them to be healthy. They need you at your best. Only when you are at your best can you help them be at theirs!
Let's also not forget the medical factor down the road as well! Taking the time to take care of yourself will most likely allow you to not only live longer but to live longer without the assistance of others. While this thought is a bit of a downer, we do all get older and will most likely need some assistance at some point. By focusing on your health you increase your odds of being around longer! Not just that but you will also most likely be more self sufficient longer and not need as much assistance. The Gran-kids will be happy to know you and your kids will be happy not to see you living in their basement!
In reality, taking care of your health is not only helping you, but everyone around you. In Fact it's selfish of you not to do it!
As you can see from these examples, the way most of us have been thinking is backwards. Not taking time for yourself is SELFISH and actually taking the necessary time for you is Self-Less!
However you choose to think about it isn't what's important. What is of upmost importance is that we realize there is no scenario in that exists when it is acceptable to no take care of ourselves. It is not OK for you, your friends, or your family to not get you at your best. You owe it not only to them but to yourself to take the time needed so that you can perform at the highest level in your everyday life.
MAKE THE TIME!
Thanks for reading
I've been lucky enough to have three children. Its amazing to watch them grow, learn and develop. My kids all have different personalities and interests. My oldest is a sports kid, my middle guy is more of a crafter, and my little one is still trying to figure it out. While they are unique in many ways they all seem to act the same way when it comes to getting what they want. As a matter of fact, this is true for most kids.
Is there a reason for this? Yes! 9 times out or 10 it works and kids are smart! They see another child act a certain way and get rewarded they tend to do the same in hopes of the same result. A child's methods for obtaining what they desire is time tested and proven. In the younger years it involves a lot of temper tantrums, crying, and screaming. At some point we all grow out of this phase which is necessary as we can't act this way as adults. Even though we can't act this way as adults there are still very valuable lessons to be learned from children. These lessons should not be given up as an adult, but remembered and utilized frequently.
When it comes to getting what you want, act like a child!
Do I mean crying, whining and causing a scene? No, although that may work in some instances!
First things First: Ask for what you want! When your a kid and you want ice cream you don't think twice about asking for it. There's no doubts that you should ask for or that you deserve some ice cream. You just ask!
As adults our mentality changes. We often don't ask for that raise we want because we are afraid the boss will get mad. We don't ask a friend for help with something because we don't want to them to feel obligated. This is the wrong way to think about it!
We need to act more like a child to get what we want. We should never be afraid to ask for anything, EVER! I never get mad at my children for asking for ice cream, just as your boss wont get mad if you ask for a raise or friend won't get upset if you ask for a favor. Get rid of your doubts and just ask for what you want! You will be surprised at the results!
Second: Don't take no for an answer. As adults we hear no and we just stop. We think that is the end of the conversation. A child knows different, they know it's just the beginning.
What happens when a child hears the word no? They respond with why? Please? Why? But I really want it? Please? This tends to go on for a while until they get a yes or they are too exhausted to keep asking.Why we give up on this tactic as adults is beyond me! It worked for so many years but we no longer use it. We need to bring it back! Keep asking and keeping pushing for the things you want in life! Exhaust all options before you stop!
Usually this barrage of pleading and asking pays off and the child gets that ice cream! It will work for us as adults as well as long as we have courage to do it!
There are a few rare instances when the constant asking/pleading has not worked. Mom or Dad has withstood the onslaught and held their ground! What is a child to do ? Give up? NO WAY! They just go and start the process all over again with the person who hasn't said no yet. Whether it's the other parent, a sibling, or the always likely to work grandparents!
We don't do this as adults, we just take whatever we get and we hope for a different answer down the road. This is nonsense! If a bank says NO on a loan, go to 30 more banks till you get a yes! Your boss says no to a raise, ask him what you can do to get one in the next 6 months (then do it)! If he says there's nothing that can be done, find a different boss!
In order to get what you want out of this world you need to channel your 11 year old self! ASK for what you want! Keep asking even if the answer is no! If that doesn't work, ask someone else until you get a yes. If you practice these three behaviors when it comes to your goals, dreams, and desires you will succeed in acquiring them and achieving your HappyHealthyHundreds Lifestyle!
Who Knew? You had it all figured out at age 11!
The Kids are All Right when it comes to getting what they want!
Thanks for reading,
If you have seen any of the headlines over the past few weeks you must have come across an Antonio Brown Story. Brown, a verified superstar in the NFL has inadvertently sabotaged his entire career losing millions of dollars in the process. He has had over 30 Million in guaranteed money voided due to his insane antics!
While most of us don't have 30 mil on the line, that doesn't mean we are immune to the same fate as Antonio Brown. We all must heed the warning signs of A.B.S ( Antonio Brown Syndrome)..
Warning sign #1
You think you are untouchable!
We have all worked with people with the untouchable complex. Usually someone who has had some success in their industry. The success goes to their head and they begin to believe the company or business can't function without them. Once this beliefs festers they start slacking, not focusing, and making poor decisions. These actions generally lead to their dismissal!
If you are great at what you do that is awesome! Don't let this success go to your head, keep behaving and acting in the same manner that brought that success. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how great you think you are. What does matter is if the guy who signs your check thinks your great! Until you work for yourself you need to be aware of the untouchable complex. A lesson Mr. Brown is now learning.
Warning sign #2
You Don't listen to anybody!
When you begin to believe that you are right all the time and that there is no need to listen to the advice or perspectives of others there should be a giant alarm going off in your head. No one is always right and no one can afford to dismiss other perspectives as it is imperative for growth. When the only voice you ever listen too is your own, reality can get skewed and trouble will be on the horizon. Just ask Drew Rosenhaus, I'm sure he would have a lot to say on this subject. I wonder how times AB has been advised to fix his behavior...A pretty high amount I would imagine!
Warning sign #3
You got fired and still can't stop self destructing!
You failed to recognize the warning signs. You overestimated your value, you ignored all advice and you lost you job. Now it's time for some humble pie! A reasonable person would try to salvage any relationships possible in hopes of getting some sort of reference to use in the future. BUT not those with severe Antonio Brown Syndrome. In advanced cases these people will continue the behaviors and actions that caused their demise. Thus digging a deeper hole to get out of. Eventually even these folks will get tired of digging and realize they need to stop the destruction and start the healing. The only hope is that once they stop and look up for help, someone will actually still be there to respond.
In order to ensure you don't catch A.B.S please follow the recommended daily treatment.
Give your best to all you do!
Don't talk about your greatness, Show your greatness!
If you find yourself sliding in the wrong direction, immediately stop what you doing, look up and ask for help before it too late!
Adhering to these three guidelines will decrease your likely hood of self destructive behavior thus helping to guard against Antonio Brown Syndrome.
Thanks for reading!
photo credit to AB instagram
A little bit about me! I'm a family man with a lovely wife and three awesome boys. I have a bit of an entrepreneur bug. I started and sold my own company twice ( small businesses but the experience was valuable), I've dabbled in real estate, been an Ebay reseller, and also spent many years in management roles which is my current stream of income ( plus a few side streams I've put together). I'd say all in all I'm your typical guy trying to make a better life for his Family.