In a room full of successful people, self-confidence is usually not in short supply. You may think this is a result that stems from all the success these individuals have had, this would be incorrect. In reality, their self confidence fuels their success, not the other way around. In order to reach high levels of achievement you are going to go through highs and lows. You must be able to stay focused through these times and consistently be able to push forward. This is the essence of self-confidence.
Self confidence is your ability like, respect, and believe in yourself in all situations. In the highest of highs and the lowest of lows a confident individual is able to remain calm. Calm in the knowledge that one situation or one occurrence does not change who they are or what they are trying to accomplish. This resolve, this belief, this confidence is the foundation of achievement.
Most of us aren't born with overwhelming self-confidence ( even those who are, still need to work to stay that way). That's OK! Self-confidence is a skill! It can be learned and enhanced throughout your life time. Everyone would be well served to spend some time of self improvement through confidence boosting. Here are a few tips/practices that will help you get started.
1. Accept your past decisions and actions:
This doesn't mean like them, this means accept them. We have all made mistakes. The key is not to dwell on them or condemn yourself for them. We tend to beat ourselves up over a poor decision or regrettable action. Sometimes to the extent of calling ourselves stupid or thinking we are bad people, etc.. This behavior is a confidence killer. Instead of scolding yourself about something in the past, analyze it. What caused you to make that decision, what about it do you not like, and how can you prevent it in the future. Accept, Analyze, and Amend. Accept your actions, analyze why you did them, and amend your behavior. Remember, no one has ever become good by being told they weren't. This includes you talking to yourself!
2. Keep an accomplishment log:
Most people have TO-DO lists, some people have a goal list (most of us should), but not many people have accomplishment lists. We get so caught up in what needs to be done and what we haven't accomplished yet that we forget that we have achieved many things already! In order to build self- confidence you need to appreciate yourself and all you've done! Write down your top ten accomplishments and keep them with you. When you start to feel self doubt creep in, take out your list and read it. If you don't revisit your accomplishments you will forget them. We have a tendency to focus on the negative instead of the positive. Change this habit! Replay your many successes in your mind, after a few minutes the doubt will fade away and you will have the confidence needed to take on what lies ahead.
3. Only Compare yourself to yourself:
Often our confidence takes a hit when focus on other people. We see Johnny from high school at the twenty year reunion roll up in a brand new corvette. We start to wonder why we don't have a corvette? Then we listen to the stories of how Johnny made a killing in the market and is travelling to ST. Barts next week. Now we are certain that we should have these things too! Our confidence is shot. So we mope around the for a couple of weeks in self pity, wondering where we went wrong.
Comparing yourself to others is utterly useless. First off, you only know what people show you, you don't actually know what your comparing yourself to (turns out Johnny rented the Vette, lives in mom's basement, and is traveling to St. Barts in his dreams).
Second, you are only meant to be you, not anyone else. It's your job to make the most of your life, so if you want to compare people compare who you are now to who you want to be a year from now. Devise the plan to become that future you and have the belief in yourself to get there. Having self improvement goals, making a plan, and working the plan is the greatest way to boost your confidence. No more thoughts of what other people have, just thoughts of what your going to have! This is the only comparison needed.
At is root, self-confidence is a learned skill that needs to be cultivated. It is similar to a flower. It may start out small, but with proper care and effort it will grow into a beautiful thing! Take the time, cultivate your confidence, and achieve your dreams!
Thanks for reading!
A little bit about me! I'm a family man with a lovely wife and three awesome boys. I have a bit of an entrepreneur bug. I started and sold my own company twice ( small businesses but the experience was valuable), I've dabbled in real estate, been an Ebay reseller, and also spent many years in management roles which is my current stream of income ( plus a few side streams I've put together). I'd say all in all I'm your typical guy trying to make a better life for his Family.